Today I am doing a Tarot reading for a friend of mine and
her husband about some issues they are experiencing in their marriage. I am not
a professional marriage counselor or psychologist, and my friend knows this. However,
she and her husband are interested in seeing what insights the cards can
provide.
I am using the “Making Love Better Spread” that appears
in Barbara Moore’s book Tarot Spreads (Llewellyn Worldwide). The deck I am
consulting is the Mystic Dreamer by Heidi Darras and Barbara Moore (Llewellyn Worldwide). I
like this spread because it doesn’t try to go into “what he is feeling” or “what
she is feeling” but instead focuses on the relationship as a whole. The
positional definitions and descriptions are direct quotes from the book Tarot
Spreads.
“(1) Strength: The most significant strength of the relationship to draw on at
this time. This is active energy that you can use.
ACE OF PENTACLES
My first impression: Stability, security, grounded
energy, material or financial matters
Barbara Moore: “Unlike in other aces, the woman here is
far away from the pentacle. Why?”
Thoughts: The significant strength of this relationship is
rooted in the physical, material world. There is a strong foundation on which
to build, along with a sense of security and stability (Earth). Barbara Moore’s
question causes me to wonder if either or both of the people in this
relationship have distanced themselves or might be feeling “distant” from the
core strength and foundation of the marriage.
(2) Lasting: The element of the relationship that has
lasted and will continue to last. This is solid energy that you can count on.
KING OF CUPS
My first impression: authoritative and rational (King), yet
also emotional (Cups); body language and position seems “inward” or “closed” in
some ways.
Barbara Moore: “This king is peaceful, sensitive,
affectionate, and calm. He is generally friendly and caring, a very nice man to
have around.”
Thoughts: With Cups being the suit of love and
relationships, I see that area as being a “lasting element” of this
relationship. Although the King can be overly sentimental or overly sensitive
(Cups), generally he is in control of his feelings and genuinely supportive of
those around him. The Golden Dawn assigns 20 degrees Libra to 20 degrees
Scorpio to this king, which gives us a combination of somewhat detached yet cooperative
and hospitable energy with keen sensitivity, strong passions, and a tendency to
bear a grudge. This interesting mix is the energy this couple can “count on.”
(3) Weakness: The weak point in the relationship that
could cause a problem or needs extra attention. This could drain energy.
KNIGHT OF SWORDS
My first impression: impulsive, heedless, reckless,
sharp-tongued, charging ahead, communication problems
Barbara Moore: “This knight is single-minded and intensely
focused. . . Do not, however, go to him with problems of the heart; he is
generally impatient in the face of emotions.”
Thoughts: I was not surprised to see the Knight of Swords
in the position of “weakness.” It seems that an unwillingness or inability to
deal effectively with emotions is a problem for this couple. It is too easy to
charge forward on a desired path or in a desired direction without noticing or
respecting the feelings of one’s partner. Perhaps both partners are confident
in their opinions and beliefs, expressing them often and firmly, without
realizing how that affects the other person.
(4) Do: What you should do – something that will use the
positive aspects in your life and relationship to their best advantage.
QUEEN OF CUPS
My first impression: compassionate, caring, nurturing,
introspective, emotional, intuitive
Barbara Moore: “This queen likes to make a pleasant place
for people to gather and wants everyone to be comfortable and happy. She is
very sensitive to others’ feelings. . . She is kind, gentle, and nurturing.”
Thoughts: Along with her partner, the King of Cups, this
Queen reinforces the importance of feelings and sensitivity to others. It is
easy to see how actions based on this Queen’s characteristics could go a long
way towards creating a happier environment.
(5) Stop doing: Something you should not do or stop
doing. It may be something that seems right but is actually not best at this
time.
FOUR OF WANDS
My first impression: Strong, stable, secure foundation (Four),
optimism, enthusiasm, passion (Wands); celebration, marriage.
Barbara Moore: “If reversed, this card warns you not to
celebrate too soon. Things appear very fine but you need to wait a bit to make
sure.”
Thoughts: I did not use reversals in this reading, but in
order to interpret a card that represents “Stop doing” I thought it would be
good to consider reversed meanings for the card. The fact is, I was stumped
initially, unable to understand why a card that is normally so positive would
appear as something the people in this relationship should avoid doing or stop
doing. The only thing I can come up with is that perhaps the cards are telling
them not to take the relationship for granted, not to assume that issues will “resolve
themselves.” Problems in the relationship need to be addressed and challenges
overcome in order for the relationship to succeed in the long term.
(6) Guiding Star: Your highest and best hope for the
situation, which can guide all your steps. If something moves you closer to
this, then do it.”
THE EMPRESS
My first impression: Nurturing, generous, growth,
creation, cycles and seasons of life
Barbara Moore: “This card shows a time of natural growth.
Your role is to nurture without forcing or neglecting your project. . . There
is great potential for abundance if good care is given.”
Thoughts: Like the Queen of Cups, The Empress is
nurturing and caring. The Golden Dawn assigns the planet Venus, planet of love
and appreciation, to this card. If seems appropriate that a Major Arcana card
would come forward in the position “Guiding Star – your highest and best hope
for the situation.” With the help of the energy represent in The Empress, the
relationship can continue to grow and flourish.
I am struck by this comment from Barbara Moore: “Your
role is to nurture without forcing or neglecting your project.” If I had to
give one piece of advice to this couple about their relationship, this would be
it. I realize that striking a balance between “forcing” and “neglecting” is not
the easiest thing to do, but it does hold a lot of promise if it can be done.