My Roles: Past, Present, Future

We all play many roles in our lives, from birth to death (and perhaps beyond!) I thought it might be interesting to take a look at how the Tarot *sees* my “performance” in some of the roles I have played, play now, or will play.

In spite of its name (“Hidden”), the Tarot of the Hidden Realm by Julia Jeffrey and Barbara Moore (Llewellyn Publications) caught my eye as I searched for a deck to use in this reading.

I am asking the cards not to “rate” my performance in each of these roles, but to offer understanding of how I relate(d) to each of these roles; my thoughts, feelings, or actions in the roles; and any other insights that would be helpful to me.

To further complicate matters, I feel the need to look at Past, Present, and Future for each role – except for “Afterlife,” which for obvious reasons relates only to the Future. Here is the layout I created:

And here are the cards that came forward:

Child/Daughter

Past: THE EMPEROR – At first it seems odd to think of my role as a “child” being represented by The Emperor, but upon giving it some thought, I can see a few connections. I was the first born child in my family, and ended up being the eldest of three. In a lot of ways, I think I was the “emperor” of my own little kingdom/life as a child, even though of course my parents were in control (or were they? LOL) Growing up, I never wanted for anything. To many, my life would seem idyllic, I know. Certainly it was a time of great stability and security.

Present: THE LOVERS – I am no longer physically a “child” but I am still my mother’s daughter. These days, I do my best to keep up with her health issues (at 94, she is still very sharp but doesn’t hear well and doesn’t always understand what doctors are telling her). I moved to this part of the country in order to be available to her in her last years. The Lovers can simply be about a union or a “good match” in a partnership not necessarily related to one’s love life.

Future: FOUR OF CUPS
In the future I see my role as “child/daughter” diminishing in significance (from Major Arcana to Minor). This card is often described as “bittersweet,” a state of being dissatisfied and perhaps overlooking something that would bring me great joy. This could refer to my relationship with my mother changing or coming to an end in this life. There may be a sense of longing for the “child” role of years gone by as I come to terms with a loss.

Sibling/Sister

Past: FOUR OF WANDS – As I mentioned above, I am the eldest of three. I have a brother who is three years younger and a sister who is seven years younger than I am. The Four of Wands celebrates friends and family, a union that is created and enhanced through music. As the “big sister” I did not always live in complete harmony with my siblings, but we did build a bond that remains to this day. At times we have a lot of fun together. I played piano and guitar; my brother played clarinet; and my sister also studied piano. As young adults, my sister and I would sing together while I played the guitar. Celebrations were frequent – birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving – and later, weddings and the birth of our own children.

Present: QUEEN OF WANDS - These days I play more of a “Queen of Wands” role with respect to my siblings. This queen is described as loving good company and bringing out the best in those around her. I do try to use my confidence and good will to encourage my brother and sister. However, I don’t see myself as the extroverted, energetic, social being the Queen of Wands seems to be. My Sagittarius Sun would like me to be, but with Virgo rising and a Taurus Moon, I tend to be more subdued and quiet.

Future: STRENGTH - My role as sibling/sister takes on extra importance in the future, as shown by this Major Arcana card. It not only involves my relationship with my brother and sister but my relationship with my Self, with the parts of myself that are wounded or that I consider undesirable or unacceptable. This kind of Strength will be needed in the future, and I need to work on developing it.

Friend

Past: KNIGHT OF PENTACLES – In the past, my best qualities as a friend included steadiness, caution, reliability, patience, and a quiet demeanor. Unlike a lot of girls, I was never one for “drama” in friendships. I might have seemed “dull” or even “lazy” at times, but this was simply a lack of interest in being dramatic or flashy.

Present: TWO OF CUPS – These days, I seek friends who are “simpatico” in any number of ways, people with whom I feel a strong connection and an interest in sharing what we do and who we are. I have never been one who cultivates a large group of friends. Rather, I prefer a small number of close friendships.

Future: PAGE OF PENTACLES – The steadiness, patience, and down-to-earth qualities of the suit of Pentacles emerge as important in future friendships. With the Page, there is the need for a willingness or eagerness to learn and to reach out with an almost childlike optimism and openness.

Spouse/Partner

Past: PAGE OF WANDS – I can certainly see the relevance of the Page as a “young” or “immature” energy, open to all possibilities, inexperienced. Combine this with the optimism, confidence, and high energy of the suit of Wands and you have a pretty accurate picture of me in my role as spouse/partner in the past.

Present: NINE OF WANDS – Here again we have optimism, confidence, and high energy of the Wands suit, but with the number Nine, we are looking at more experience, strength, and maturity than we would see in a Page. I am fascinated by this quote from Barbara Moore’s Journey into the Hidden Realm: “Stronger now, he rose, truer and purer, from that which destroyed him, or perhaps from that which created him.”

Future: THREE OF CUPS – In the future, my role as spouse/partner takes on a gentler, more easy-going quality than we saw in the Past and Present. There is happiness, contentment, and a spirit of sharing and appreciation.

Professional/Career

Past: TEN OF PENTACLES – In the past, I built my role as a professional over time, building each step on the one before it as best I could. I love Barbara Moore’s comment on this card: “This is an ongoing cycle of a strong past, a contented present, and a hopeful future.” The roots go deep, continuing to keep my professional endeavors alive.

Present: KNIGHT OF WANDS – Passion and energy motivate this Knight, and he acts quickly because he is certain of his decisions. Currently, I am passionate about my work/profession and I do spend a lot of energy (and time) on those activities. I am self-employed these days, an apt position for a Knight of Wands. I see Wands as the suit of creativity as well as career.

Future: SEVEN OF PENTACLES – An interesting image for my future role in the “professional/career” category. It suggests patient waiting and calm, peaceful confidence that when the time is right, I will enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Parent / Mother

Past: PAGE OF CUPS – I can see how this card relates to my role as a parent/mother in the past, when my children were young. The Page has a youthful energy that reflects my own emotional and intuitive nature at the time. I was easily able to identify with the openness and enthusiasm of my children for new experiences, their imaginations, and their creativity.

Present: EIGHT OF PENTACLES – These days, my role as parent is rooted in the physical, material world (Pentacles) as I do what I can to help my children build their own lives as adults. I am committed and disciplined in this, steady and stable.

Future: THREE OF PENTACLES – I’m not quite sure how to interpret this card in the sense of my future role as parent/mother. The number Three could represent my two children and me. Pentacles, again, represents the physical, material world. Perhaps we are looking at them providing practical assistance to me at some point in the future.

Afterlife

KING OF PENTACLES

What a lovely image for the final position in this reading: the King and the child. “All that he has, he shares with her. . . She is in his care, and cared for she will be until the end of his days” (Moore). This image does lend itself to the traditional Christian interpretation of an Afterlife, with God as the King and me as his child. In a broader sense, I get a mutual love and care between “old” and “young”, perhaps two parts of one person’s spirit. In any case, it is a comforting image.