Making Love Better - A Reading

Today I am doing a Tarot reading for a friend of mine and her husband about some issues they are experiencing in their marriage. I am not a professional marriage counselor or psychologist, and my friend knows this. However, she and her husband are interested in seeing what insights the cards can provide.

I am using the “Making Love Better Spread” that appears in Barbara Moore’s book Tarot Spreads (Llewellyn Worldwide). The deck I am consulting is the Mystic Dreamer by Heidi Darras  and Barbara Moore (Llewellyn Worldwide). I like this spread because it doesn’t try to go into “what he is feeling” or “what she is feeling” but instead focuses on the relationship as a whole. The positional definitions and descriptions are direct quotes from the book Tarot Spreads.

“(1) Strength: The most significant strength of the relationship to draw on at this time. This is active energy that you can use.

ACE OF PENTACLES

My first impression: Stability, security, grounded energy, material or financial matters

Barbara Moore: “Unlike in other aces, the woman here is far away from the pentacle. Why?”

Thoughts: The significant strength of this relationship is rooted in the physical, material world. There is a strong foundation on which to build, along with a sense of security and stability (Earth). Barbara Moore’s question causes me to wonder if either or both of the people in this relationship have distanced themselves or might be feeling “distant” from the core strength and foundation of the marriage.

(2) Lasting: The element of the relationship that has lasted and will continue to last. This is solid energy that you can count on.

KING OF CUPS

My first impression: authoritative and rational (King), yet also emotional (Cups); body language and position seems “inward” or “closed” in some ways.

Barbara Moore: “This king is peaceful, sensitive, affectionate, and calm. He is generally friendly and caring, a very nice man to have around.”

Thoughts: With Cups being the suit of love and relationships, I see that area as being a “lasting element” of this relationship. Although the King can be overly sentimental or overly sensitive (Cups), generally he is in control of his feelings and genuinely supportive of those around him. The Golden Dawn assigns 20 degrees Libra to 20 degrees Scorpio to this king, which gives us a combination of somewhat detached yet cooperative and hospitable energy with keen sensitivity, strong passions, and a tendency to bear a grudge. This interesting mix is the energy this couple can “count on.”

(3) Weakness: The weak point in the relationship that could cause a problem or needs extra attention. This could drain energy.

KNIGHT OF SWORDS

My first impression: impulsive, heedless, reckless, sharp-tongued, charging ahead, communication problems

Barbara Moore: “This knight is single-minded and intensely focused. . . Do not, however, go to him with problems of the heart; he is generally impatient in the face of emotions.”

Thoughts: I was not surprised to see the Knight of Swords in the position of “weakness.” It seems that an unwillingness or inability to deal effectively with emotions is a problem for this couple. It is too easy to charge forward on a desired path or in a desired direction without noticing or respecting the feelings of one’s partner. Perhaps both partners are confident in their opinions and beliefs, expressing them often and firmly, without realizing how that affects the other person.

(4) Do: What you should do – something that will use the positive aspects in your life and relationship to their best advantage.

QUEEN OF CUPS

My first impression: compassionate, caring, nurturing, introspective, emotional, intuitive

Barbara Moore: “This queen likes to make a pleasant place for people to gather and wants everyone to be comfortable and happy. She is very sensitive to others’ feelings. . . She is kind, gentle, and nurturing.”

Thoughts: Along with her partner, the King of Cups, this Queen reinforces the importance of feelings and sensitivity to others. It is easy to see how actions based on this Queen’s characteristics could go a long way towards creating a happier environment.

(5) Stop doing: Something you should not do or stop doing. It may be something that seems right but is actually not best at this time.

FOUR OF WANDS

My first impression: Strong, stable, secure foundation (Four), optimism, enthusiasm, passion (Wands); celebration, marriage.

Barbara Moore: “If reversed, this card warns you not to celebrate too soon. Things appear very fine but you need to wait a bit to make sure.”

Thoughts: I did not use reversals in this reading, but in order to interpret a card that represents “Stop doing” I thought it would be good to consider reversed meanings for the card. The fact is, I was stumped initially, unable to understand why a card that is normally so positive would appear as something the people in this relationship should avoid doing or stop doing. The only thing I can come up with is that perhaps the cards are telling them not to take the relationship for granted, not to assume that issues will “resolve themselves.” Problems in the relationship need to be addressed and challenges overcome in order for the relationship to succeed in the long term.

(6) Guiding Star: Your highest and best hope for the situation, which can guide all your steps. If something moves you closer to this, then do it.”

THE EMPRESS

My first impression: Nurturing, generous, growth, creation, cycles and seasons of life

Barbara Moore: “This card shows a time of natural growth. Your role is to nurture without forcing or neglecting your project. . . There is great potential for abundance if good care is given.”

Thoughts: Like the Queen of Cups, The Empress is nurturing and caring. The Golden Dawn assigns the planet Venus, planet of love and appreciation, to this card. If seems appropriate that a Major Arcana card would come forward in the position “Guiding Star – your highest and best hope for the situation.” With the help of the energy represent in The Empress, the relationship can continue to grow and flourish.

I am struck by this comment from Barbara Moore: “Your role is to nurture without forcing or neglecting your project.” If I had to give one piece of advice to this couple about their relationship, this would be it. I realize that striking a balance between “forcing” and “neglecting” is not the easiest thing to do, but it does hold a lot of promise if it can be done.

Past Life Relationship Reading: Llewellyn Tarot

Many of us are fascinated by the idea of past lives and past life relationships. I am doing this reading for a friend who is in a new relationship, and wondering what connections (if any) she and her partner might have from a past life.

The spread is from Sasha Graham’s 365 Tarot Spreads (Llewellyn), so I thought it would be fitting to use the Llewellyn Tarot by Anna-Marie Ferguson (Llewellyn Publications).

Layout:

1……………………..2
…………..3………….
4…………5…………6
7…………8…………9

(1) Who was she in a past life?

THREE OF WANDS

I get the impression that she was an entrepreneur, a person who was not afraid to launch new enterprises, investigate new directions, and explore adventure. Perhaps she was a merchant involved in trade across the oceans. In her book Tarot Life Planner (Hamlyn), Lady Lorelei associates each card with several careers. For the 3 of Wands she lists “sailor, explorer, prospector.”

(2) Who was her partner in a past life?

PAGE OF WANDS

I get the sense that her present partner was, in a past life, a youthful person (perhaps immature or naïve, or maybe just young at heart), someone with a lot of potential and flexibility, open to new ideas and to broadening horizons. Perhaps they worked together in some enterprise, as mentor and apprentice? Lady Lorelei lists the following likely careers for the Page of Wands: “religious counsellor, church worker.”

(3) What was their relationship?

EIGHT OF WANDS

Interestingly, the companion guidebook for this Tarot deck states that this card can suggest “falling in love” or a “whirlwind romance.” An opportunity for adventure plays a part, but we might also be looking at the potential for “quarrels amidst partners and friends” or “choosing to let an opportunity or love die.”

(4) Was it a stable relationship?

THREE OF SWORDS

This positional definition is phrased as a yes-or-no question, which can be tricky to interpret in Tarot. I tend to avoid doing that in readings, but decided to leave this as is for this reading. My impression here is that it was NOT a stable relationship. The 3 of Swords is typically a card of heartache, hurt, distress, severance, perhaps even unrequited love. Certainly the more negative meanings of the 8 of Wands (above) make sense when paired with the 3 of Swords. I have seen the number Three appear in readings with reference to a love triangle.

(5) Did they have children?

KNIGHT OF SWORDS

Again we have a yes-or-no question and must decide what qualities of this card would suggest a “yes” answer and which ones might suggest a “no” answer to the question. One method I have used with some success assigns a “yes” answer to the two active elements (Fire/Air, Wands/Swords). Here we have not only an active suit (Swords) but the Knight, who generally symbolizes activity.

(6) Were they together a long time?

THE MAGICIAN

Another yes-or-no question. In general, I view Major Arcana cards as providing a “yes” answer to such questions. Not only that, but The Magician is linked to the active element Air in many systems. I think perhaps they were together a long time (whatever that means), plus I feel that The Magician (as a Major Arcana card) reinforces the idea of a soulmate and/or past-life connection between them.

(7) What lesson did they learn together in their past life?

FOUR OF CUPS

In their past life they seem to have learned what it is like to feel discontent, isolation, doubt, and loss. And perhaps they also learned that it is possible to focus entirely on what one does NOT have, thereby failing to see or appreciate what one DOES have.

(8) What lesson are they learning in this life?

FIVE OF WANDS

Back to the suit of Wands we go with a card that typically represents confusion, erratic energy, stress, clash of ideas and principles. They seem to be learning how to deal with this type of conflict and inconsistencies in their lives, possibly within themselves and from people around them. They need to learn how to resolve these conflicts and channel conflicting energies toward a common goal.

(9) Are they evolving and moving forward?

NINE OF WANDS

This yes-or-no question is answered by a Wands card, which suggests a “yes” answer (see my explanation above). The 9 of Wands seems to me to indicate the importance of guarding one’s assets and preparing to defend one’s position or place. In order to evolve and move forward, they will need to anticipate possible hostility towards their relationship, outwit adversaries, and use the experience to grow and refine their own characters.