The meanings of the positions are:
1. Who I once was.
2. The lessons I learned in that incarnation.
3. The lessons which I failed to learn.
4. Who I am in this incarnation.
5. The things I find easy.
6. The things I find difficult to accept.
7. Recurrent problems.
8. The best method of confronting them.
9. This life’s challenging lessons.
For this reading I am using (what else?) The Arthurian Tarot, with cards illustrated by Miranda Gray. Here we go…
STONE QUEEN: The Queen of the Chessboard Castle; Queen Igraine, Arthur’s Mother
As a Queen, I channeled the energies of the Stone Hallow (element of Earth). Stable and dedicated, noble and practical, I understood the relationship between all life and the land. It was my purpose and pleasure to impart a sense of nurture and security to all I encountered. My gwyddbwyl board represented the land itself. The blackbird was my totem and companion.
In that incarnation, I learned to make and to shape, to use practical skills and creative instinct to bring together ideas and skills in organized pursuit of a goal. I worked with craftsmen and magicians alike in this pursuit, and reaped much honor and many rewards.
Alas, in that incarnation, I failed to learn the true strengths and weaknesses of the Spear Hallow (element of Fire). In spite of my innate stability and practicality (Stone Queen), I made hasty decisions and behaved impetuously, at times displaying a hot temper, expending valuable energy and enthusiasm on risky or false quests that took me farther from my goals.
In this incarnation, I have retained my connections to the Stone Hallow, sworn to uphold it, but instead of being its Queen, I am a Maiden, a student of the mysteries of Earth. A raven has replaced the blackbird as my totem and companion. Like all Maidens, I am here to open new paths on the Hallowquest.
Unfortunately, I find it easy to dwell on sorrows, disappointments, loss, and “broken bridges” – analyzing, over-analyzing, and brooding as if somehow that activity will eventually lead to relief or escape from the mental ordeal. This is especially easy at around 3:00 in the morning, if I happen to be awake at that hour for a “call of nature.” I find it easy to vacillate back and forth between blaming and justifying my past feelings, choices, and actions -- although these days, I do seem to be able to put a stop to it by simply saying, within my own mind, “Shut up.”
I find it difficult to accept that I need to do more to replenish my spirit, whether it be meditation or retreat of some kind. I need to reassess my “powers and limitations” in quiet seclusion. I find it difficult to accept that it might be possible to “sink deeply into the peace of the spirit and wake refreshed for the quest.” Call me a skeptic.
Recurrent problems exist in the physical, material world, a realm that includes possessions, finances, health, and security. This refers to something I may be “hoarding” in some way, reluctant to share for fear that I will be left with nothing.
THE GREEN KNIGHT (Key 15 – The Devil)
The best method of confronting those problems is to overcome any ignorance, self-limitation, and inflexibility that could be creating an obstacle for me. My own fears of what *might* or *could* happen are part of the problem.
PRYDWEN (Key 7 – The Chariot)
In this image, Arthur’s ship, Prydwen, sails into the entrance of the Underworld. The challenging lesson in this life is to learn that I can achieve victory and attain goals through self-confidence, self-discipline, and determination. I am indeed the “captain of my ship,” with abilities I can harness towards a purpose, even in the face of tests and trials. The challenging lesson is to learn not to give up or to let fear of failure put a stop to my progress even before it has begun.