Thursday, August 16, 2012

Self-Esteem and the Enchanted Map

The issue of self-esteem has come up recently in my life due to a situation occurring in my extended family. I decided to seek insight into the health of my own self-esteem by consulting The Enchanted Map Oracle Cards* by Colette Baron-Reid with art by Jena DellaGrottaglia (Hay House).

I am using a Self Esteem Spread designed by Angeles Arrien and published in The Tarot Handbook (Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam). The positions are as follows:

(1) Ability to set limits and boundaries
(2) Flexibility and openness
(3) Ability to give and receive love; follow heart
(4) Capacity for staying in one's truth or integrity
(5) Communication skills
(6) Sense of honor and respect about oneself

Before I continue with the reading, I want to say a few words about self-esteem. I think it's a bit tricky. For example, we often speak fondly of someone who has "a delightfully self-deprecating sense of humor." The word self-deprecating  means "tending to undervalue oneself and one's abilities." Sounds like low self-esteem to me. Yet this tendency appears to be praise-worthy.

At the same time, I have, on more than one occasion, been put off by someone who obviously has a high opinion of himself. But doesn't this person have "high self-esteem"? Isn't that a good thing? Then why do I want to get away from him as quickly as possible?

I was raised to believe that pride is a sin, and bragging about oneself is bad manners and/or a sign of arrogance. Humility, I was told, is a highly honorable, desirable trait. I suppose *healthy* self-esteem is somewhere between overly low and overly high self-esteem. I think it can be tricky to hit that happy medium!

The irony of doing a self-esteem reading is that, it seems to me, if I have low self-esteem, I am going to read the cards with a somewhat negative  slant, believing that they reinforce my "self-deprecating" perception of myself. If I have overly high self-esteem, I am probably going to read the same cards with a positive  spin, concluding that they support my high opinion of myself. So can I hit a "happy medium" in which I am fair, honest, and supportive of myself -- without being conceited? 

While shuffling the cards, I asked that only enlightened insight come through for me from the Highest Source, to help me better understand my Self and my Life experiences.

Let's see where The Enchanted Map takes me!

First I am going to give my initial impressions of each card in its position. Then I will consult the guidebook for this deck and see what Colette Baron-Reid's thoughts on the matter might be.

The Enchanted Map Oracle
(1) Ability to set limits and boundaries
INTENTION (22)

First Impression: Well, yes, it is always my *intention* to set limits and boundaries. Intellectually, I *know* I need to do this. Sometimes I succeed. Much of the time I function according to old patterns that I really need to discard.

Quote given for this card in the Guidebook: "Deliberate, clear intentions have the power to change your world." A sentence from the book: "Your objectives will be fulfilled at this time."

The Enchanted Map Oracle

(2) Flexibility and openness
MOONLIGHT (51), Rx

First Impression: What happens when Moonlight is *reversed*? The moon is below instead of above, perhaps suggesting increased potential for darkness, confusion, and deception.

Quote given for this card in the Guidebook: "Your intuition allows you to see beyond the mundane, logical, and analytical. Follow it." A sentence from the Reversed meaning: "Too much analyzing is getting you nowhere."

The Enchanted Map Oracle
(3) Ability to give and receive love; follow heart
COMMITMENT (36)

First Impression: I do have a strong sense of commitment, no matter what area of life is involved. In other words, once I commit to something or someone, I tend to hang on and hang tight for a very long time. I have on many occasions followed my heart, and remained committed in spite of rough waters. For me, the love I give and receive is not about gushy emotional or romantic lovey-dovey behavior. It's about standing by someone, accepting their flaws, appreciating their acceptance of my flaws, and seeking points of commonality rather than focusing on differences.

Quote given for this card in the Guidebook: "A true commitment is a responsibility of the heart, mind, body, and soul. This is a good time to make one." A sentence from the book: "Be clear about the nature of your commitment and your responsibility to it."

The Enchanted Map Oracle
(4) Capacity for staying in one's truth or integrity
ONE-RING CIRCUS (15), Rx

First Impression: Interesting that this is a ONE-ring circus, not a 3-ring circus. It's as if my truth or integrity is focused or singular. But the card is reversed, defying gravity. Perhaps it is difficult or challenging for me to stay in my truth or integrity? Perhaps the reversed position suggests that I am not certain what my truth is, so I obviously would have trouble staying in it.

Quote given for this card in the Guidebook: "You are capable and competent." Sentences from the Reversed meaning: "If you think that the sun won't rise without you, then it's time to change" OR "Someone else may be trying to control you. . . Don't be afraid to set a boundary."

The Enchanted Map Oracle
(5) Communication skills
FOLLOW THE LEADER (40)
First Impression: This sounds kind of like I adjust my communication style to blend in or mimic the leader of whatever group I choose to join. I adopt that person's way of communicating, even their exact phrases or expressions. I know that I do this. I don't see it as a *bad* thing -- but I do think it could be taken to extremes. I try not to do that.

Quote given for this card in the Guidebook: "Every life is a teaching tool for others. Your authenticity and honesty are an example to those around you." A sentence from the book: "You're being called to lead others by example."

How interesting that I automatically thought this applied to me *following* a leader, rather than me *being* a leader. That gives this card in this position a different spin. It is my communication style that will make me a leader that others want to follow -- or not. But I need to acknowledge that possibility.

The Enchanted Map Oracle
(6) Sense of honor and respect about oneself
DRY DESERT (31)

First Impression: Oh dear. If my "sense of honor and respect about myself" is a "dry desert," that can't be good. The cards shows an empty world, void of life, mind numbing in its sameness. In the distance we see large cactuses, suggesting the presence of at least a little bit of water, although it's not readily available to the woman on the card.

Quote given for this card in the Guidebook: "Dig deep for inspiration and truth. Now is the time to become resilient and adaptable." A sentence from the book: "You're being required to conserve your energy -- until, after consistent effort, you reach the oasis you're searching for." Well, that does sound a bit better than what I came up with!

Numerologically Speaking

I find it interesting that the only two reversed cards in the reading are number 51 and number 15. Both numbers reduce to 6. Six suggests harmony, balance, and integration. But the cards are reversed -- which may be alerting me to an imbalance, disharmony, or lack of integration in the areas of "Flexibility and openness" and "Capacity for staying in one's truth or integrity."

Three of these cards have numbers that reduce to 4 (22, 40, and 31). Four suggests a certain amount of stability, structure, and reason -- but also the possibility of stagnation or limitation.

Card 36 -- Commitment -- reduces to 9, suggesting the end of a cycle, basis for completion, growth, and transformation. I like that when I think in terms of "ability to give and receive love; follow heart."

I am getting a lot to contemplate from these cards! From a numerological standpoint, I think I am being advised to consider my level of self-esteem as potentially threatened by imbalance, disharmony, or lack of integration. I am also being encouraged to think about how my self-esteem may be in "stable condition" but also limited. Finally, My ability to give and receive love, to follow my heart, is ripe for transformation and growth. Individually, the cards offer much to explore.


* To read my review of The Enchanted Map Oracle Cards, click HERE.


6 comments:

  1. Zanna,
    I adored this! Not only are the cards lovely and in-sight-full, but so is your open interpretation.
    I love playing with different spreads, and have recently adopted a new deck- the Mary-El Tarot!!!
    If you do not have that deck, I suspect that you too will love it if you get a copy!
    Violet

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    1. Hi Violet! Thank you so much for your comments.

      I do have the Mary-El Tarot. You can read my review here:
      http://tarotnotes-majorandminor.blogspot.com/2012/03/review-mary-el-tarot.html

      I also did a little musical experiment with the Mary-El, which you can see here:
      http://tarotnotes-majorandminor.blogspot.com/2012/06/music-and-tarot-mary-el-tarot.html

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  2. Zanna, once again, you are a Living Goddess of Divine Timing! A little while ago, I was thinking about being single and some of the challenges I have faced in that area of life. Also, in the past I felt that I needed to do more regarding increasing and strengthening my Self-Esteem, and here is this post!

    Thank you so much for this, and for Re-Minding me that I AM long overdue to purchase my own copy of "The Enchanted Map."

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    1. Robert! How lovely to *see* you. Yes, I am a goddess, it's true (LOL). I'm so glad this post resonated with you. Thank you for your comments.

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  3. I found this to be a very interesting reading. I think as you said in the beginning, a difficult one to do for the self as you or anyone tries to remain objective rather than just see what one wants to see. I think you did a splendid job here Zanna.

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    1. Thank you, Helen! I thought the cards were quite interesting. And I do enjoy this deck!

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Thank you for leaving a comment. I love hearing from my readers!
~ Zanna